Frustratience and the endless propulsion of positivity

Greetings again earthlings.

Although 6 weeks in to my blog, I am actually counting this as lesson 2. As you may recall I changed venue and teacher last week with an immense amount of joy, and this week I turned up full of excitement and reinvigorated.

It turned out to not be such a joyous occasion for various reasons but as it is only lesson 2 I will keep up the positivity. I read somewhere recently that when you are learning a new instrument you have some good lessons and some bad lessons. It happens. If you are having a bad lesson it doesn't mean that you are incapable it's just that the brain is working harder than the body this week and it is all being taken in and processed ready for next week. I Understand that somewhat as last week it was going in one ear and out the other, this week I feel I can remember just about everything teacher said, although I would give myself a C- on the practical. No biggy.

Frustratience, though, is a new word I invented which sums up how I feel after 6 weeks.  4 of which I wasted really. Frustration with my original teacher and my inability to see the obvious and change what wasn't good. However I did pay for 10 weeks up front  with no chance of a refund (that was part of the deal). My instincts told me not to sign up for something with not even a written plan or any goals whatsoever and with a no refund clause. I should have smelt a big dirty rat but I guess I was desperate. It makes me angry. However a good Buddhist would turn those negatives round and I am switching to patience and positivity. Patience as I am starting again and determined to see it through, no matter how long it takes and positivity as that takes no effort at all really.

So off we go to get changed and showered.

I am no longer the new kid. A new lady showed up tonight which initially I was pleased with but it turned out to be a mixed blessing as I was no longer centre of attention, and especially as I seemed to do OK last week most attention was on the new lady. Which is fair, however her inability to listen and do what teacher asked made her get into constant bother which on 2 occasions caused teacher to dash away from whatever we were doing to rescue the new lady, leaving me splashing and spluttering and annoyed. I think it showed a lack of respect to the teacher to constantly do the opposite of what teacher said and get into bother but in fairness her enthusiasm was 10 laps ahead of her ability so what can you do, better that than a terrified learner I suppose.  Just goes to show you how difficult a job it must be really. I spent probably half of the hour just keeping an eye on the newbie as she kept going deeper and getting out of her depth and instead of swimming into the side, she was heading from the side out into the middle. 

So what did I get up to, well, like last week we started by visiting the deep end. Doing a few dunks, holding on to the side of course. As usual first one was a partial success, all the rest were OK. Just takes a couple of goes to get it right. Back down to the middle of the pool, holding on to the side of course, and a noodle and some breaststroke practice, walking out  a bit and swimming back into the side. This was going too well so I swapped the noodle for the arm-bands of shame and normal service was resumed.  A bit patchy and the legs were getting it right about 50% of the time. Apparently its legs stretched out straight behind you, bend the knees, toes under bum and push out like a frog and back to the start. Like last week  arms or legs were perfect, rarely both in sync but I managed to keep making it into the side without too many incidents.

Teacher suggested we do a lap of the pool on our back, with noodle, to look at our legs to make sure what they were doing is what we thought they were doing. Great idea. It was funny as sometimes I would get in to a rhythm and It just worked and it was great and then when I thought about it, it all fell apart again and it would take a few strides to get it back. The best advice, half way round, was when legs are stretched out count to 3, then bend the knees then push out like a frog. That really made the difference as I really got a good rhythm up and sped away down the side of the pool. 

So that was about it really. Not a huge amount done and not really any progress from last week at all, but  hey it's only lesson 2 (again) so it's still early days. 

New teacher is on holiday for 2 weeks now and I have 2 weeks off work too so either I can go next week at the same time, assuming the other girls will turn up anyway, or I could have a couple of sessions splashing about in a pool with my family. Either way it will be fun and exciting. 

I almost forgot, I was looking at Youtube at some treading water exercises and I was really in the mood to crack that this week but It didn't quite work out that way. They egg beater technique is very hard work on the old legs and I could manage no more than a few seconds, I will try the more traditional 'treading' technique next time. 

So arm bands off and I finished up with a few face down floats, Adam inspired, it's really funny. I feel I have kind of cracked that and I can do it and stay completely afloat for as long as I can blow bubbles and it seems that maybe I could just surprise myself and swim away and maybe I will one time, but obviously I would need to come up for a breath and go back down so next time, well next lesson anyway, I will try and float and then come up for a breath and see if I can manage that. If I can I will be delighted.

I feel I have been getting carried away with myself of late and as I am Scottish and there is a tremendous amount of Calvanism inherent in the Scottish psyche that will simply never do so  I am going to revisit Aquamilie's great blog tomorrow and read from the start again and see how it compares with my experience to date, after-all she is part of the reason I started to learn and all of the reason I started to blog.

'til next time, folks, all the P's. Patience & Positivity. Pip Pip.

Good Jovi

Well thanks to Bon Jovi playing a very wet gig a Murrayfield Stadium this evening my missus, who works opposite the, ahem, home of rugby was a little delayed in getting to the train station after fighting her way through the throngs of 40-something year old women who were queueing up in the rain to see the spandex wearing poodle permed rawkers! So by the time she got home to relieve me of baby sitting our 3 year old, who thinks he is Spider Man, it was almost time for the lesson to start.

Well I could have legged it and got there 10 minutes late, but 'teacher' is on holiday this week and goodness knows what knuckle dragging disinterested yoof would be looking after us anyway so I thought I might try something different. By some unfunny coincidence the other midweek evening adult class is also on a Wednesday evening, however this one is an hour long and starts at 7.30pm. Hmm! I decided to give it a go.  For a change I could hang out with my family, on a Wednesday,  and cook dinner and it would all be relaxed and civilised, even with a tiny super hero at the table.

Off I toddled to the local Community High School and wandered in, paid my money and was greeted by the swim teacher, a lovely ol' dear called Brenda. "Don't I know you?" she said. "I don't know, do you?"  I said. Anyway it turns out that we don't know each other I just look like someone she knows,  he is obviously a very good looking chap! There were 2 other ladies there, both older than I, and they could swim and had been taught by Brenda but they just keep coming to cheer on the learners and it's all very cosy and Women's Institute. Already I felt like one of the girls.

Brenda was great from the first moment, as most people were on holiday this week I was the only non swimmer so I had her to myself for most of the time. I explained what I had been doing and the lack of any instruction I had had the previous 4 weeks was obvious and I realised that I had actually been teaching myself to swim, with some useful advice from Adam, but no instruction to speak of really. Crazy! So I just let her start from scratch. She took me to the deep end! A novelty. The first time in my life I have been in the deep end. Obviously holding on to the sides. I had to dunk my head under the water. I was a bit apprehensive at first as I had usually been doing this in 2 feet of water but now it was over 2 metres. My first go was predictably bad with a big mouthful of water, and it was another minute before I had another go. which was better and a third dunk and that was that, off we go back to the shallow end. A cunning wheeze really. 2 minutes work and any  'fear of the deep' has been withdrawn, without even realising it was happening. It's not that deep really.

Breast stroke, no giggling at the back, was on the menu today and what a joy. Obviously I have never tried it before and I fancied having a go. My gosh, there is a lot to remember. However I got a good 30 minutes of practice in. I was shown what to do with hands, what to do with feet. What to do with head. I could do each part on there own no problem, but them together it was tricky but I kept at it and progress was made. It's just practice makes perfect. Just like everything else. Just like drums. Until I got a electronic drum kit in the house I was a great drummer with 2 hands and one leg. Within 2 weeks I had totally mastered 4 way separation and now I actually think I am quite good, and humble to boot. But it's all because I have a kit there I can practice anytime without disturbing anyone at any time of the day. Practice practice practice. So practice I did. By the end it was looking something like swimming. I still had a noodle but to be honest it felt like a super noodle as it was just too buoyant, if that doesn't sound silly. Apparently it's because we are in a proper swimming pool or something, I am not sure I fully understood. Anyway a moment later joy turned to horror as my noodle was traded for, adult arm bands! NOOOOO! O the shame. All those childhood memories came back in an instant. A feeling not unlike being put up on the dining room table in a kilt and everyone marching round looking up, pointing, shaking their heads and commenting. I don't recall that ever really happening but that would be a darn sight better than wearing arm bands. Wouldn't it?

Well maybe but by now I trusted teacher and was happy to do as I was told. Actually it worked really well. Perhaps they are the best thing after all. Makes sense when you think about it. Just like stabilizers on your bike when you are a kid.  I continued getting further and further away from the side and swimming in. I managed maybe 4 strokes before reaching the sides so, although not quite half way it was certainly a third of a breadth. I think that's what it's called.

We did loads of other stuff tonight like trying to tread water, not a complete success and O I can't even remember. It all seemed to go so quick, and it was an hour. My longest lesson so far and the most enjoyable.  Maybe I will remember more about it in the morning.

I feel now after 4 wasted weeks and now with a new teacher in a proper pool that I am finally learning, and that I think that soon I will be able to swim a little. Brenda is a great teacher, I feel she will be every bit as thrilled as I will be when I swim a breadth.

So to recap.

Thanks go to Bon Jovi for helping my missus miss her train.

Apparently you can't really teach adults to swim in a kiddies training puddle, it needs to be in a proper pool. No doubt something to do with physics or mechanics or something sciencey.

O and most importantly if you are not getting anything from your lessons, then change your teacher. I can't tell you how amazing I feel about life, the universe and all the other stuff in it, and it's all because I have a good teacher.

O and finally Bon Jovi is French for Good Jovi, apparently.

Keep that faith, folks!

and we'll all float on, ok!

Alright, already we'll all float on.

With the usual mix of excitement and anxiety me and the chap from last week made our way into the training puddle as normal. There was an odd moment when a girl from the previous class was marched back to the pool by her mother demanding that she jump into the pool. The kid was obviously terrified of doing so and her mother was saying "If you jump in you will get a reward!". Apparently a similar thing happened last week. It shows how some people, even a mother, don't really understand the fear that some of us have of doing such a thing. Of course we know that we (probably) won't die but just for a few seconds you will be underwater and what if it goes up your nose and you lose your footing and panic and flail about and there are people watching, and that is obviously terrifying for the poor girl.

Also I  feel that swimming coaches sometimes don't empathise really. Of course they know that eventually you will figure it out and manage to swim as much as you need to or want to, but perhaps as they have obviously been swimming for such a long time they have forgotten what it's like to want to but be unable to. They may have never been in the position that some find themselves in, when they fear and dread the water and the whole week is ruined as the minutes are counted down until the next sorry episode in the wet.  I remember as a kid I felt like that. I am braver now but I can still remember.

So my online coach, Adam, has been on hand with some great advice again and the usual first few laps with the float were as successful as ever. As usual legs weren't up to the job of propelling me right across the puddle. The same legs that on Sunday ran up and down a muddy and quite hilly 10th Anniversary Dechmont Law 10k trail run. Hmm. 130th place thank you very much. (no medal for 130th place apparently-gutted!) Teacher suggested I try a putting a float on my back and she brought out this brightly coloured sharks fin with a strap. O the humiliation. As polite as I could I told her where that can float off to. A few more lengths with a couple of noodles which went reasonably well. Breathing, sponsored by Adam, is not too bad, the underwater part is virtually nailed just getting the other part needs more practice, I don't know if I am taking too big a breath (if that's possible, I am sure Adamski will put me right on that) as after a few of them It goes a  bit wonky. Thinking about it perhaps I have been breathing out and in too hard. So  I decided to  have a chat about floating with 'teacher' . She suggested it would be good to try and thinking about the physics of it it all kind of makes sense. You see when I'm, ahem, swimming with the noodle and I have a couple of practices without sticking my face in the drink I usually run out of leg steam before I get all the way across but when I stick my face in the wet-stuff it feels like my legs are lifted and therefore there is less resistance and I can propel myself forward quicker and with less effort. Intriguing huh?

So although nervous I decided to float on. This could be the pivotal part of the whole game as I have always just believed that I can't possibly float so therefore I can't possibly swim, changing that mindset is still proving challenging and the fears of childhood pop back in to town and wave a cheerful hello. However I am now led to believe that actually, yes, it is possible to float. So here goes....well I thought about it for a moment more. OK so breath in, breathe out count of 4 and up again, it's easy, just give it a go, ok but i'm scared, JUST DO IT!!!!

So I did it. err and I did it again and again and again. Wow! I was surprised to find that actually I didn't need to count to 4 and come up for air. I could stay in the water face down for longer than I expected. Amazing. A miracle. While it may have looked like I was practicing playing dead I was actually enjoying just floating. Ok so it wasn't perfect, only a few times did I do it text book but what I did achieve was quite a revelation to me. Maybe I can float on ok!

Alright already, so going back to what I said earlier about breathing in a gentler way, I don't yet  know if that is the key to getting it all together. Well there was certainly no need to breath as heavy while just floating on but I ran out of time to do a few more lengths, so that will have to wait until next week. Next week we have a new teacher, a fella argh! as Becca has a holiday. No need to be nervous.

If I could just find the time to have more practice. A busy boy at the moment though.

As far as the view under water, as my online coach has asked, well there is just another pair of Scottish male legs, typical milk bottle colour, even in what we like to call summer! So as yet nothing at all to report and as our female companion didn't show up this week much less to view. However I will keep that in mind as, to some people,  it may act as an extra stimulus to get out and get wet more often, at the moment for me any of that business would just be a distraction.

So thanks again to Adamski and to Modest Mouse. More fun next week.

Pip pip!

Lesson 3: Back to Square 1, Phew!

Well, I had kind of been dreading lesson 3 as it got nearer on the back of last week's lack of progress.

On Sunday I took my 3 year old lad for his second swimming lesson which really was about as successful as mine and I was a bit disappointed with the standard of so-called teaching but that's another matter.

Last night we had a new pupil. A guy, just like me, who's child is learning to swim and he realised that he can't. I'm not the only 1. I knew it couldn't just be me.

A day or so before lesson 3 I got a post from Adam on the blog who helped me put things back in perspective, so thank you Adam. I have employed your breathing technique and added the goggles to my underwater wardrobe and, surprise surprise, it made a big difference. I even practiced the breathing before I got to the pool and had that just about in the bag before I got in the water. I hope nobody at work saw me! That was important as I had the rhythm ready and I knew when to lift my head before I got in the water. I reckon if I hadn't practiced that before I got there it would have went wrong when you have everything else to try and do.

So with the breathing just about sorted I could hopefully concentrate on getting from one side of the kiddies training puddle to the other. I started with the floats again, just to see if last week was just a temporary blip. After 10-15 mins I tried adding a noodle which really seemed to help as it supported my middle and brought my legs higher in the water which again helped but I was still struggling to get my legs to get me to the other side. Also I am sure there is a slope on the water. It seems easier to go 'downhill' and a slight struggle to go back 'uphill' again. I know that that is impossible but I want to believe it. I still don't seem to be able to keep kicking all the way across and stay in a straight line. It is like my body is twisting too much, hmm!

I decided to discard the float, maybe for good, and with 2 noodles I started to, ahem, swim across. Well it took 2 goes to get the hang of what the arms should do but they kind of figured it out. I had another 2 lengths without putting my face in the water just to sort out my arms and legs.

Reasonable success, I must have got carried away and one of the noodles shot off up in to the air bouncing off one of my surprised co-learner's face, much to his shock. I just kept going with the head down pretending it wasn't me. I was then left with one noodle which I am pleased to say did not drag me down under the water to feed on me but kept me buoyant enough to enable me to carry on.

So Back to where we were in week 1 really, only this time with a kind of rhythm and system to breathing  much improved on week 1. Sponsored by Adam. That is progress!

There were a few moments when it all fell apart, of course, usually when I got half way across and maybe began to start to think about what I was doing and then it went wrong. I suppose it's like telling someone who is a bit scared of drums how play drums. It's too complex to think about all the things you have to do AND do them all at the same time. You just feel it and ride with it. That must be what swimming is like. When I just went for it without thinking it seemed to work. Remember to do Adams breathing and just ignore the arms and legs, hopefully they will do the right thing.

So after a week where I was thinking about getting lessons elsewhere I am pleased to say that progress was indeed made. Still much work to do however. Legs need to get with it next week.

So, thanks to Adam, in summary here is how it worked for me this week.

Blowing bubbles for a count of 4.

Blowing bubbles, face in water count 1-2-3-head out water -4- breath in and repeat.

Simples!

Practice that folks in and out of the water.

"Practice, practice, practice and have fun."

A few wise words.

Things to remember, still blow out as you lift head out of water and make sure you are blowing again as head goes back in. As long as I remember to do those 2 things then there will be no spluttering and fizzy nose syndrome (F.N.S. for short).

Oblivious to any spectators this week, too busy concentrating on the job in hand to care. Success!

So looking forward to next week again.

Lesson 2: A Partial Success

Lesson 2 tonight.

Positive point was that I confidently walked past my audience of mums and dads in the gallery en route to the training puddle. Maybe next week I will wave and perhaps stop to chat and sign a few autographs.

Another pupil tonight. A nice young lady. She turned out to be almost a decent swimmer however she just couldn't do the face in the water thing. Won't be long before she has mastered it and swims off into the sunset. Her technique looked very good, just a bit scared to get her face wet.

Well, like my school report cards used to say,  I set my self some very low targets which I consistently failed to achieve.

Buoyed by last week's veritable successes, I perhaps was feeling a little more confident than I perhaps had the right to be. Tonight I just could not get it together. There wasn't really much of a lesson structure. It was a bit like 'ok do what you can and when you feel confident with that we will do something else'. Truth is neither of us progressed much past floundering and spluttering.

My legs just didn't seem to get it together tonight. I couldn't go from one side of the kiddies training pool to the other while doing the underwater breathing thing. I would get 2/3 or 3/4 across and then although I was still kicking it felt like I wasn't going forward. I did this for a while with a pair of floats and then with one bigger float and still It was a struggle. I couldn't even manage a straight line.

I maybe did 20 lengths and only really 2 I managed to do satisfactorily. I stopped trying to breathe underwater and just concentrate on kicking all the way across. It just wasn't happening. I was getting quite frustrated. So that was it. Lesson over and all me and my new chum managed to do was a couple of lengths of the tiny kiddie pool. Poor show.

I am home now and after thinking about it for a while I conclude that maybe I should have used the 'noodles' instead of the float, as last week when using the noodles I could move arms and legs and that just seemed easier to propel me forward. I'm not sure why the instructor insisted on floats this week. Next week I will try the noodles. To me it seems more logical to actually attempt to swim with all limbs using 2 noodles, then lose one and hey who knows maybe lose another. Didn't feel like I took a step forward this week. I only feel I achieved a wee bit more of sticking my face in the water. With varying amounts of success.

Perhaps, like aquamillie, I should go to the pool in between lessons to practice. Not sure if pools let you just flap about and disturb everyone. Will need to make some calls.

Need more work on the breathing underwater. I Just haven't got it together yet and 45 minutes just flies by in the pool.

On Sunday it's my turn to take little lad to his swimming lesson so I should get some underwater time. Every little helps I suppose.

Tonight I am reminded how I felt when learning to drive. Some lessons were great, some not so great, some frustrating but I guess if you can't practice between lessons then it's always going to be hard. Perhaps me and the family should find a quiet pool and just splash about. Perhaps.

So although I feel that I haven't made progress this week I am still looking forward to the next one. It's not impossible after all, surely everyone can learn. Focus on the prize.

So off to bed now. Night night.

Oh just remembered, I bought some groovy speedo goggles on the way there tonight. However I still don't feel I have the right to wear them. Maybe next week. Maybe next week.

pip pip

The First Step is the Deepest

Hello.

I am a 36 year old bloke, who just never learned to swim and have avoided water for almost 20 years since leaving high school. I have a 3 year old son who loves the water and has just started swimming lessons at the local pool with his mum, after an 18 month wait to get a place. Therefore I decided it is now time to get over this and get on with having fun with my family instead of watching, jealously, from the side.

It's not been an easy thing to do. There has been a little embarrassment over the years about it and people do think you are a bit odd, in the same way that I think people who choose the harp as their musical instrument of choice are a bit odd, some people even offer some form of pity in the same way they would upon discovering you are vegetarian.

Two weeks ago I finally plucked up the courage and just booked some lessons at the pool before I could talk myself out of it. With the lessons booked and paid for there would be no way of chickening out. I deliberately chose the adult class I considered would coincide with a quite time. Wednesday 5.45pm. And sure enough when I arrived there was not too many folks around and due to no-one else showing up, although others were booked, I had a 1 on 1 lesson. Fantastic.

My greatest fear was seeing someone I may know and the shame and humiliation that would come of being outed! I nervously made my way to the training pool populated by loads of small children being barked at by a disinterested 'swimming teacher.' Hmm not ideal.  A moment later my instructor, Rebecca, appeared and after a quick chat the kids were evicted into the main pool and I was alone in the training pool being watched by the parents of the kids that I had evicted. Sorry!

The interrogation consisted of:

Q "Can you float?"- A "err I don't think so, no."

Q "How do you feel about putting your face in the water?" - A "Not keen but not terrified."

From that the lesson was planned. 

I decided very quickly that as I only have 45 mins and I really want to get my money's worth I am going to have to play the very difficult part of being brave and keen instead of the more natural and easier part of being pathetic and a bit scared and embarrassed.

So using big long foam spaghetti things under me I started trying to push myself from one side of the pool to the other. Very tricky but mastered after 2 attempts.

What I was not expecting was the effort that the legs have to put in, they work very hard. I have been running (ahem, jogging) for about a year and thought I was reasonably fit although overweight however I was surprised by how much effort the legs have to do. They hurt pretty quickly.

A mixture of doing  lengths of the wee pool with the spaghetti and the floats for half the lesson was pretty good. Mixing up using just the legs and using legs and arms was good and I seemed to get better each time. Confidence was good too.

No doubt 'becca picked up on this and with 10 mins to go she asked again about face in the water. I had been recently reading Aquamillie's blog, which inspired me to do this, and I recall it took a few lessons for her to stick her head under. I knew if I said no I would just dread next week's lesson for 7 days so I decided to give it a go. I practiced walking across the pool sticking my head under, count to 3, and out. It wasn't easy and it is completely alien to me and, amusingly, just when I though I was getting the hang of it I would get complacent and the next time I went under I would get it all wrong and take a drink by mistake, then I would stand up and have fizzy swimming pool water come out my nose. Attractive. Also I didn't know if I should open my eyes or not underwater. Sometimes I did, others I had them close. Goggles would no doubt help, however goggles seem to be a tool of the swimmer and I don't know if I have the right to wear them yet. I am glad I was brave enough to give it a go. I have started the ball rolling and although nervous about doing it again tonight I am also keen to get it right. Aquamillie's blog says that she blows when she is under water, I didn't do that. Will try it tonight.

Near the end of last week's lesson I spied someone looking at me from another pool. I recognised them as a chap that runs with me 2 or 3 times a week at the Jolly Joggers running group. Horror upon horror. I was found out. Oh the shame. I nervously waved back, realising I had been found out. He hasn't been to the group since I saw him, so I haven't had a chance to talk about it, but I will probably see him on Thursday if he turns up.

Initially my heart sunk when this happened but by the time I was out of the pool and waiting for my lift home I decided that this was the best thing that could have happened. It means I can just concentrate on learning to swim without fear of loosing my cool. It has also made me confident to tell people that I am learning to swim.  Which I have done with a strange sense of pride. It's like I am ready to conquer my fear and I am proud of it.

OK so lesson 2 is tonight and I am again nervous and excited about it, will be glad when it is over. As long as I manage to do at least what I did last week I will consider that success.

Aquamillie's blog, which has inspired me, is here:

http://diaryofanadultlearningtoswim.blogspot.com/

Check it out.